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DIRECTIONS: follow the pink dot around the circle. is there a pink dot? focus on the crux of the + without looking away. feel fascinated.

OH WONDERFUL, THANKS FOR BOTHERING!
today marks the 1G or 1K bench marker.

next thing i'm working on is 'DJ Marathon Dancer'. I have short performance sets designed to be intertwined with long sets of dj'ing. the first one i want to do is going to be about friends. having friends. writing letters to friends. enjoying friends. going out to eat. its all about friends. i have dances all ready. i need to get two girls to be my official dancers. thats proving to be a problem. i'm hoping for zoftig girls, tall girls, or girls that got powerful presence, or any combination of that stuff, or something else that i can't explain or am not sure of. i guess you would need to be uninhibited. i want them to wear dresses and sweatbands, and running shoes. i have the typewriter, the mail a letter, the shampoo, the octopus, the static electricity. i have all sorts of dances ready to go, i just need the girls to show the crowd how to perform said dances.

check it out i'm gonna put myself in a corner now.

so, speaking of girls, do they know that sex is pretty boring and that i could just as easily masturbate to the idea of having sex with them? sleeping with a girl (sans sex), thats special. sex isn't special. thats all i'm saying.

DJ Marathon Dancer VS. Earwig von Beathoven VS. Bizzzee Bedtime9 in a three way duel to the death. objectives: get dancers, get the crowd to dance, get them to fall in love with me - so i can stop being in love with myself, so i can fall asleep at night, with a girl within reach. don't worry man, they hate you. hey at least i beat the oedipal complex into a bloody pulp that i drink with my toast in the morning. i guess i'm glad not to be married, especially because i don't even eat breakfast. don't worry, if you've read this, i talk to myself the same way i would talk to you. mazel tov. its yom kippur, you should be fasting anyway. stop southing carolinas.

TOUPEE'S AND EARWIGS COMING SOON TO A RECORD CHAIN NEAR JERUSALEM!

hello world of glob! i own your life. this is another multiversal posterity mechanism. do you fuckin posers even listen to r. kelly? did you know that there was a tp2? or did you think it just skipped up? trust me: i'm still alive at the time of this entry. listened to the abc's today. it captured the times pretty alright if you acksed me. so last week i went to old forge, ny. home of enchanted forest / water safari, where the fun never stops. when i got picked up- my chauffeur showed up with half of her busted ass car up on the muggerfucking (rape) lawn and half on the dwiveray. the whole time i was saying things like, i don't really wanna go. i'm just gonna sit at home this weekend and not really do much of anything. cus thats cool shit. but they were all, no, man come on dude, go! what else are you gonna do? well as it turned out i did the same thing there that i would have done here at home. except going there i was almost manslaughtered. check this out. so first, we go for gas. we get the gas. but oh wow the miscues upon leaving that there parking lot. ugly. but thats nothing. so eventually we get to driving. we got about a 55 minute drive. no big deal really. so we're driving for about 20 minutes when the two broads in the front say "oh i gotta pee, and pee is what needs to happen next, and stopping will come first, lets go pee together, and be gay-gay-hate, and comment on the ugly art on the wall of some ice cream stand in the middle of nowhere." so in order to do that we had to make a 90 degree right hand turn going 50 miles per hour into a parking lot on the side of an interstate. we nearly hit the guy trying to pull out of the ice cream place. the look on his face was "oh man, what a stupid way to die, that prick bitch, i can't beleive this, oh thank god i'm not hit." the tires wretched and screached at the ground and rubber burned and the death toll came very close to rising. everyone was eating their ice cream and wondering what the hell was wrong with those stupid kids with their unkempt clothing and hair. fuck this shit, long story short, we ended up doing what was deduced to be a 525-degree turn in the middle of a bend in the road about four minutes later, and people came running out to see if we were alive. not driving with homebitch ever again. that shit is dead. get the self control pill, and the heart thats actually a heart not a response to the idea of hearts pill. and maybe we can talk without making every statement largely demeaning. i'd be good at being your dad.

B POSI+IVE!




hey this is great- lets love me together. but here's a scenario: so suppose you and a few friends are going out for a night on the town. and your friends have a few different ideas, but you decided not to bother coming up with any ideas. and so you now have a few options from a few people about what few things there is to do. so then democracy sets in and the group says well lets figure out what it is we few want to make happen. they go around the room and say whatever few things they had thought / talked about. and then it comes to you. and you say "i don't care either way". well i just want to let you know something about people like that. if that person is you, you obviously harbour some sort of intense maternal-driven hatred for your "friends". on the other hand- if thats your good buddy, they must really dislike you, they didn't come up with even one idea, not even something like, lets just sit here. now listen... i don't say things like "i don't care either way", i'm a good friend (like angela levy). its so mean spirited to "don't care", and that ain't me. but if i had a few friends, and they said, "here are your options; what do you want to do". i would say "i care either way." because i love friends! don't you wish you had friends now too!?

WHAT'S LOUISIANA GOT TO DO WITH IT?


politicians always sound like they're trying to dump you. they must be fucking someone else.

I'M GRILLING ICE

so my shoulder still hurts from the tumble i took all those weeks ago. now i need armstairs for my armchairs. my friends skeeter and roscoe were in a bit of a skirmish yesterday. skeeter tried to attack roscoe with a 10" carving fork. as it turns out, skeeter was being followed for nearly six weeks by this guy that roscoe hired. to figure out whether or not skeeter was going to work when she said she was. unforunately (???) she was, always. but the guy that roscoe hired- his name is (get this): Dick "Fats" Apparantly, Private Investigator" his ad in the yellow pages has a slogan that reads "fats is fast". anyway- its been a while here's a photo from august 6th at the estephonix humid hot party. the wedding was pretty great, and it was right before this photo, we had 8 or so gin and tonics, and they were all substantial. i also had some wine. and then when at este's we did what we do best. not to mention the walk around the block that satisfied that same unsaid hunger during the wedding. scholla if ya hear me!

dj ensemble including this guy



big saturday. starts with thursday. go to brooklyn. friday lots of people to meet (record execs). saturday is my big sister's wedding. i dj that fun monster with al-gerzeera. gotta be out the place come eleven o'clock. after that we's going to gloryestephonix party to hopefully immerse myself in another dj set. all-gernin will do whatever whatever. this time i'll be accompanied by colleagues and co-conspirator's such as zesto! and pedro panadero. i wonder if jenny spotato will rock? i am hoping so. holllaatme

BLODY NOOSES

fuck man, so i had this great idea of the best way to give oneself a bloody nose. its my impression that to get a bloody nose you don't have to do something too stupid. so check it- my idea starts with gathering a pinch of sand, non-toxic glue, and some string. the string doesn't have to be that long, three inches at most, one inch at least. the glue should have some give to it when its dried. and the more granular the sand the better.

once you've got the ingredients the first thing you need to do is apply the glue to the string. next step: roll the string in the sand giving it a somewhat even distibution of sand across the whole of the string. you're almost done. now leave the sandy glued string in a dry place for three or four days. don't fuck with it too much. make sure the string is loose and bendable. the way string should be. and make sure the sand is all over it.

now you're ready. take the string and place it inside the desired nostril. then press your nostril closed with one of your fingers. now, with your free hand, take the string and rapidly pull it out of the pressed-in nostril. ta-da! you've got a bloody nose! so if you ever have to be in a movie where someone is eating out a very pregnant woman's vagina and then suddenly her water breaks on said person's face, and the pregnant woman sort of freaks out and kicks the cunilingerer's nose out as she jumps up and gathers her bearings, thats the way to do it so that its the most real.



better than the fake shit. only problem is you'll be smelling iron for a little while. don't worry its just the blood in your nose!

EQUATIONS!!

well they can't all be zinger's- right? sorry about the winnie post. it was no good. i just got excited, thats all. lots of kool keith lately. he's good summer material. the personal album is terrific. desiel truckers is also exceptional. listening to some cenobites. black elvis. and once (today actually) i listened to sex style. i think sex style will get some more play. maybe i'll even bust out octagon. and if that happens, i'll surely go on a dr. dooom binge. i always do. every summer.
HOLD THIS! HERE'S SOME BREAD!!

also in the deck lately has been the following:



gary lewis and the playboy's "she's just my style"
mf doom "operation: doomsday" & "mm food"
king pleasure "moody's mood for love"
k dee "ass, gas, or cash (no one ride's for free)"
jj fad "supersonic" [the album fucka]
biz markie "diabolical"
r. kelly - the trapped in the closet series, naturally... check earlier posts below if you don't know
the 1981 christmas rapper's contest [busy bee, tony wa, kool moe dee, and others - but them in particular]
freddie foxxx "crazy like a foxxx"
cassidy, freestyles and such
tim dog's "bitch with a perm" [a snoop dis song]
patsy cline
jackie-o
and lil' d a/k/a grandmaster b a/k/a david faustino a/k/a bud bundy

plus the rough love mixtape, which, if you don't know, is the best mixtape i've put together in two years... and if you don't know - i make lots and lots of mixtapes. ask me for one, i'd love to send you one. give me something to do, inbetween reading about charlie manson, and listening to all that stuff, plus i gotta get ready for my sister's wedding which i am dj'ing. so i need to put stuff together just for idea getting anyway. be my muse yo! tell your friends too. ya'll could all get mixtapes yo!! and they'll all be different!! lets be friends!!!!!

WINNIE THE COOPER


well today i think i might be getting a job. but then i have to take time off almost immediately afterward because of my sister's wedding. oops! maybe that means they won't give it to me. oh well. winnie cooper ladies and laddies....


apparantly winnie is a great mathemtician. i always knew she was special. i'm imagining i'm kevin arnold these days. hey winnie, why don't you come over? lets have a drink. i'll make dinner for you. we'll write letters when you leave town this time. i love you. MATH!!! MATH!!!!

happy birthstille day kid

A SCANNER DARKLY...



a funny caption



a funny caption



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and a funny caption

EXTRAPOLATING & RAP RELATING

have you you heard this trapped in the closet series?!!!? oh man, i'm telling you! A-mazing!! so many people have lots of things to say about r. but don't know the first thing about him. and that irks me. its fucked up. its the same as people saying, "i love music, but i hate country music." what does that mean? its also like people in the same conversation saying, "i like everything". because; no ya don't. what are you people talking about? i on the other hand am interested in every bit of music in the world, that way i don't have to love or hate it. its the same way i feel, about you. so listen, one time i said this:

some feel like r. kelly is tremendous
like daryl strawberry's cousin
like a baseball field
wanna hit a homerun
like on half on a baby
with unfinished jay-z
b9
i'm stupendous
a lot of my space friendship
got one that i didn't vote against yet-
ugh!
nice watch though
where ya hidin' it--
what time is it?

its all about the relationship between tremendous and stupendous. get with it yo.
he affects every one of us. love this man.

SPLATTERPUFF & ELKAPHANT

listen up mufuckas! i am the creator of the word splatterpuff and the aminal elkaphant. thats right, i created the word with my brain. and the animal with my my-first-bio-engineering-kit set. after i run for, and win the election for, mayor of the small central city of utica, in the grand state of new york, i will set my course for world domination. cumming on a town near you.

i'm also going to be calling people "bop" and "ak" ( pronounced: ock) from now on.

here are some examples:

your kid will pop pills in a lunchbox ak!

follow my lead bop!

WHY DO YOU ASK?



fbi don't you be watchin' me!

so i don't know how to get this thing to work the way i want it to just fucking work. images of. but i guess there's very little i can do about that. gregory despres...gregory despres.....gregory despres....gregory despres.....gregory despres....gregory despres...gregory despres......gregory despres.....gregory despres...

yesterday was the fourth of july. i more or less ignored it. i've been toying with the idea of starting a cult. i've been reading up on jim jones. and i am ready to embark on an intense charles manson journey. MAN-SON! MAN - SON!!!my cult is gonna be pretty rad to say the least. i've got a name that i've been toying with a little bit. check it out:

THE RADICAL NETWORK

huh?!?! eh?! its a way of life really. radical. so far my cult is going fairly well. i have two members that are already high ranking officials. which reminds me, that, i should tell them. there are others that have contributed in some way or another at some time or another as well. as it stands right now. there are two games that the radical network has developed into full on artforms. the first game (the most righteous of all in the radical network) is called RADICAL. the second activity is called RADICAL, but i have been thinking about altering that name, albeit very slightly (perhaps by having the A's switch places). allow me to explain the rules and dynamics of these games. we'll start with Radical, the first one.

well, first off, you need at least two people. but you can add an infinite number of people. so long as there are people, they can be added. but lets say you got two people. next thing you guys need is a tennis ball. preferably a penn brand tennis ball.

but any tennis ball will do. then you and your radical counterpart(s) need to get into overindulged positions. you can be lying down on couches or you can be half passed out on the floor with a carton of ice cream balancing on your bare stomach. the idea of the game is to throw the ball back and forth. the other idea of being good at being radical. and pretty much anything goes. the only thing else, really, is that you shouldn't be excited, or moving around or anything like that. thats just ridiculous. this game is a lazy river of chi. its radical, thats definite, an art.

relevant things

something relatively long- in order to reach, and assist in the retreival of, the radical, while simultaneously keeping all players in their positions

things that are soft- in order to create the desired levels of comfort

sunglasses-radical is best played in well lit rooms, so sunglasses often come in handy, sunglasses also keep counterparts guessing

freedom is big and it has dimensions.

condoleeza rice said that new york was a perfect place for the 2012 olympics today. if we get those stupid fucking games... mark my words "terror outbreak". i don't want her to give reccomendations for anything, much less a big sporting event that lots of people will want to see no matter where it is, how about have it in south america, they could use the money i'm sure. that bitch is definitely running for president though. whenever the bitch hillary clinton runs for president, condoleeza will be right there up against her and it will be turned into an issue of black versus white- when it will already be an issue of having a woman in control, but that will be overlooked because we(the american people)'ll already be beyond that, which won't be the case because in fact it will be the first time we've approached a chick wearing the pants in our family. historically we're good at trivia? god damn. the whole world can eat shit. poo poo platter motherfuckers. the complications that will arise from a manuever such as this are monumental. attention defecits will be replaced with rage surplus's's. nillas will kill more niggas. niggas will kill more nillas. and the hispanic population will be looking for someone worth killing, which makes them killable. asians don't get factored into this equation, even the ones that want in. but this whole presidency of a woman who is potentially one of a variety of colors won't happen sooner than you think. because after all, there is- of course -arnold in '08. mars in 2012. and now the olympics? i've been saying these things for the past 3 years. i also called it when he was running for governor. maybe i should use a portion of this blog to track arnold's real life and movie life in order to show you the parrallels. because, my friend, there are many. manymanymanymany.... and manymanymore... true lies. totally recall what happens, and compare arnold blacknigger (nazi spawn mind you) to the people he plays in movies and press conferences and you will see that you are, beyond the shadow of a doubt, dealing with the exact same character. perhaps bells will ring when arnie has his own section. goodnight.

i fell down this hill. it was maybe a twenty foot hill. GIVE or take 3 feet or so. it was on what most people would roughly estimate to be a 70 degree angle. it had just rained. i figured, hey, its wet out, i'd like to see how far i can make it down that hill (with it being freshly precipitated all over), and if i lose my balance, which is fairly inevitable, i'll just fall backward and slide the rest of the way on my ass. so i'm going down this hill, you know, i got a game plan. i'm a little drunk, but not much. i drank the majority of a 40 over about an hour, thats like what 4 beers or five? OE yo. anyhizzle, gameplan in tact i decided it was time to descend this hill. i made it a little over halfway. when suddenly i felt like i was falling forward. so to ease my forward trajectory, i went back hoping the butt cushion would be my ground-wise parachute or something. unfortunately though, i had gained too much speed. i would guess i was going 15 or even 20 miles an hour down that hill. possibly more, i'm not sure. and when i dropped back it was with far too much force and i sprung forward and slammed face down in the middle of the street that was at the foot of this hill. i broke my hip and separated my shoulder and was in the hospital for a few days. luckily though it was not a bad break i was able to walk away and all, but i guess i received a compression fracture. which is a break as a result of pressure. easy on the mend. but harsh nonetheless. and my shoulder which i've had problems with from the time i was very young -- as a result of a dirty trick my sister once played on me, is in horrendous pain and i can't do all the things i would normally do, if i were a professional basketball player. but alas, i'm not a professional basketball player, so it doesn't much matter in that sense. as it turns out, i seriously need health insurance. maybe welfare can be in my future. i have a rap show concert tonight, and i will be able to do that because we sit down through shows, so it should be no problem whatsoever. somehow i managed to keep my cigarette in my hand without dropping it or putting it out in any way, so it was right there with me the whole time, and i protected it, just like it will protect me one day. a favor for a favor. RIGHT CIGARETTES!!!??!

so i was thinking about snuff films all day and i decided to start a blog. we'll see what happens then, eh?